


Know When to Walk Away

by danceswithgary



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama, Episode Related, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-02
Updated: 2011-01-02
Packaged: 2017-10-14 08:31:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/147349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danceswithgary/pseuds/danceswithgary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leaving has never been the easy way out for John.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Know When to Walk Away

**Author's Note:**

  * For [reulann](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=reulann).



  
[   
  
click for fullsize   
](http://pics.livejournal.com/danceswithgary/pic/00298spr )   


  
**Know When to Walk Away**   


 

 _Although he was well aware that he was no longer alone, John didn't look up from the latest security review until he heard an aggravated sigh followed by a quiet, "John."_

 _After saving his notes, John closed his laptop and focused his attention on Rodney, although he still wasn't feeling very charitable about the reason Rodney had been traveling without him or the mode of transportation. "So how'd your meeting go?"_

 _"It was…I just found out they're letting Sam go back." Rodney's mouth twitched into a half-smile as he added with a shrug, "I guess it's not such a big surprise. I remember saying she was more trouble than she was worth the day we got divorced."_

 _John tilted his head a bit and studied Rodney for a moment before offering a bland, "That's good news."_

 _"Well, yes and no."_

  
**8=8=8**   


Forty stories up, John looked out over the Vegas skyline as he waited for M. Rodney McKay, Ph.D Ph.D to finish a teleconference in the next room. The penthouse suite defined luxury and wasn't what John was accustomed to in his day-to-day dealings with much more ordinary clients. Catching sight of his reflection in the window - rumpled linen jacket over an equally creased shirt, faded jeans and scuffed boots matched by two days of scruff below an angry-looking cut on his cheekbone - John had to wonder why a dot com billionaire was so interested in hiring him.

A crisp apology interrupted his musing. "Mr. Sheppard. Sorry about the delay. I didn't expect to run over on the call, although I suppose I should have considering most people aren't able to keep up with me."

Turning from the window, John accepted the apology with a nod. "No problem." He stepped closer and offered his hand in greeting only to wince in commiseration when McKay indicated the white bandage just visible past the right cuff of his silk shirt. "Sorry, forgot about that." Pointing toward the injury and then to the bruising that mottled McKay's otherwise pale face, John asked, "You okay?"

"Thirty-seven stitches, but the doctors claim there's no nerve damage from the knife." McKay lifted one shoulder in an obvious dismissal of the question and the opinions before waving his left hand toward John's face. "Yours…that's actually why I asked you here. I owe you more than a simple thank you for the other night…."

Uncomfortable with the reminder of their first meeting, John dismissed McKay's claim with a shrug. "I'm fine and you don't owe me anything. Anyone would have…."

"That's where you're wrong." McKay stepped forward as he interrupted John, his expression intensely earnest under the bruises. "No one else did, and I could have ended up in the morgue instead of the emergency room."

When he considered the circumstances, John had to concede that point. He'd been the only other person in the alley when he ran into three thugs and a drunk in a tuxedo, and that had just been a matter of timing. If John had left the bar five minutes later that night, they probably wouldn't be discussing what had happened. "Okay, but you still don't…."

"As I indicated in my message, I want to offer you a job." McKay interrupted John again, and he had a feeling that was standard operation procedure with the man. "I need someone that I can depend on to handle my personal security."

"And you think that's me." John's drawl was deliberately mocking and he made no effort to conceal his amusement at McKay's bad assumption. Although John hadn't necessarily agreed with McKay's slurred scathing assessment of the security people he'd fired just before walking outside 'for a breath of air,' he did think they'd been in the wrong for letting the drunk billionaire walk the streets of Vegas alone. That didn't mean John was looking to replace them. "Pretty sure you've got the wrong man."

McKay frowned then winced, reaching up to adjust the glasses John remembered picking up from the pavement after McKay had refused to let John call 911. "No, I don't think so. I've done some checking, called in a few favors the last two days, and I think I know you pretty well."

Walking over to the bar in the corner, McKay picked up a manila folder, opened it, and casually began reciting facts that raised the hairs on the back of John's neck. "Thirty-five years old, born in Virginia, mother deceased, estranged from your father since you joined the Air Force instead of the family business, and never been married. When you were shot down in Afghanistan, it earned you a dishonorable discharge for disobeying orders trying to rescue a field medic trapped behind enemy lines. Although that crash killed American soldiers and civilians, the record was sealed for various political reasons and you avoided jail time."

Without thinking about it, John suddenly found himself across the room, his hand wrapped around McKay's left arm tight enough to make the other man wince although obviously not enough to make him stop talking, his voice brusquely sympathetic as he observed, "You were involved with the field medic and that made it a hard choice. I'm sure you didn't intend his rescue to go that badly, it's just things don't always go the way we plan. You say the wrong thing to the wrong person and your dreams of a Nobel…."

His voice fading, McKay's eyes went distant for a moment and then he shook his head. "I know what it's like to lose…to lose what you love and have to start over again. You tried that, put in just shy of eight months as a police detective, but that didn't work out and you settled for a PI license instead. Now, the only thing of value that you own is that red junker that I bled all over on the way to the hospital. You have less than six hundred dollars in the bank and you had thirteen thousand dollars in debts, not counting off-the-books gambling losses to a guy named Mikey."

Suspicious, recoiling as if every nerve ending had been exposed during McKay's exposition, John released his arm, stepped back, and grated out, "Had?"

"What?"

John's single word question had obviously baffled McKay, so John tried again, forcing the words past gritted teeth. "You just said I _had_ debts."

"They're paid off, of course, even Mikey." McKay's chin lifted as he straightened his shoulders under John's glare. "I consider my life worth more a great deal more than the trivial amount you owed."

"And now you think you own me."

"No!" McKay's eyes widened in dismay and his hands came up as if to shove John's snarled accusation away. "No, you…I was just trying to thank you and give you a chance to…." His earlier bravado evaporating, McKay's shoulders slumped and he shook his head slowly, his crooked mouth drooping even lower to one side. "I've made a mess of it, haven't I?"

John's mouth twisted ruefully at the sad vulnerability etched in McKay's face. Remembering the sympathy - not pity - in McKay's voice as he revealed he'd had his own mistakes to overcome, John thought about how little there was to hold him in Vegas, and then blew out a slow breath. "I'm betting there are at least three things you _don't_ know about me, McKay."

Smiling at McKay's puzzled frown, John reached into his pocket, pulled out a pack of spearmint gum, and folded a piece into his mouth before adding to McKay's compendium of John Sheppard facts. "I like Ferris wheels, college football, and things that go over 200 miles per hour."

  
**8=8=8**   


_Rodney stopped hovering just inside the doorway between their offices and walked inside, his shoulders hunched as if anticipating a blow. John kept his seat, although his instincts surged to high alert as Rodney haltingly explained, "It seems they're willing to…overlook… my questionable status as a foreign national to bring me into the Stargate program. My first order of business will be to finish the…inter-universal bridge Sam needs to get home, and then…."_

 _Rodney winced before he continued, as though what he was saying was painful. "There's our reality's version of Sam's phasing device. I have to get it working before the next Ori attack."_

  
**8=8=8**   


John didn't offer to leave when Samantha Carter was shown into Rodney's office, the day after the two men had returned to Denver from a series of meetings in Washington. He hadn't forgotten the disappointment that had flashed across Rodney's face when the protestor had burst into the reception in his ex-wife's honor, forcing her and the president to leave before Rodney had a chance to speak to her. Although he'd never admit to jealousy, John resented the influence the woman still had on Rodney years after their divorce, and he wasn't going to make it easy for her to cash in on it.

Looking up from their review of the inventory control application that the US government was interested in acquiring, Rodney smiled, rose to his feet, and walked around the desk to meet her halfway across the room. "Well, well, well. If it isn't the toast of Washington!"

John was pleased to see Carter keeping her distance as she returned the greeting. "Hi, McKay. It's good to see you. I'm sorry that we didn't get a chance to talk the other night."

"Well, under the circumstances, I'll accept your apology." Turning sideways, Rodney waved John forward. "Sam, I'd like you to meet my partner, John Sheppard."

After exchanging a quick handshake, Carter glanced between John and Rodney with an odd smile before saying, "I have something to tell you, but it can't leave this room. If you're not okay with that…."

"We may not have any secrets from each other, but that doesn't mean we can't keep yours," Rodney assured her with a lopsided smile. "Right, John?"

"Don't forget your clearance is higher than mine, Rodney," John warned, hoping to avoid bringing his dishonorable discharge to Carter's attention. "If this has anything to do with national security…."

Carter's smile looked a little uneasy as she replied. "It does and it doesn't, but based on what I know about you two, I think you can be trusted with anything you haven't already learned since the Stargate program was declassified…and I need your help." Taking off her coat, she sat on the chair John offered before expanding on her ambiguous statement. "This is going to come as a bit of a shock, but I'm not who you think I am. Your Samantha Carter was working on an experiment when she inadvertently pulled me here from an alternate universe."

"This some kind of a joke?" Rodney huffed as he paced in front of his desk. "Nice try, Sam, but even if travel between universes was possible, the likelihood of you surviving the trip is…."

"I'm not joking, McKay."

As he settled against the edge of the desk to watch and listen, John frowned, a little disappointed at Carter's interruption. It had been a while since Rodney had gotten up a good head of steam about someone else's idiocy, which usually led to interesting methods of stress relief.

Carter continued without waiting for Rodney to respond. "A little over a month ago, a single Ori ship attacked Earth and was fought off with the same Ancient weapon used on Anubis, but the energy source - a zero point module or ZPM - was nearly depleted in the process. Since you've never received additional ZPM's from Atlantis, your Major Carter was developing a process to extract energy from parallel universes."

Rodney had stopped his pacing, obviously fascinated by Carter's story. "Wait. Did you say…Atlantis?"

Carter frowned at the digression, but she did answer, albeit a little impatiently. "It's a city of the Ancients in the Pegasus Galaxy that can be reached through the Stargate with an eight-symbol address. In my reality, we have an international contingent there."

"International cooperation. You really _do_ come from a different reality."

"In more ways than one," Carter snapped back at Rodney's sarcastic remark. "We don't use Go'auld weapons to subdue protesters or F-302's to bomb Irish villages suspected to be terrorist hideouts. America is still a democracy, not under a dictator's thumb after three years of martial law."

"I suppose we could spend hours discussing the current political situation, or perhaps you'd rather enlighten me on how my Sam pulled you here, instead?"

"Ordinarily, this type of energy retrieval is extremely dangerous, leading to the creation of exotic particles in one or both universes, as my own universe found when we tried it. Major Carter found a way around that by designing the machine so the bridge would only open for a microsecond. The idea was to steal small amounts of energy from thousands of different universes, thereby minimizing the fallout in any single one.

"A device of that type…." Rodney frowned and shook his head. "I know Sam took shortcuts sometimes, but I doubt she designed it so poorly as to bring through ordinary matter. So what happened?"

"At the precise moment that your Carter tapped into my reality, I was conducting an experiment of my own with a force shield protecting me while the entire contents of my lab were out of phase - the same phasing I used for the latest Ori attack. I'm sorry to be so blunt about it, but presumably, the bridge pulled me through and caused the capacitors on this side to overload, killing her."

John straightened from his lean as Rodney walked toward him, wishing he could banish the look of pain from Rodney's eyes. Ignoring his dislike of public displays, he tugged Rodney into a hug, silently willing Carter over Rodney's shoulder to stay quiet. After a minute or two, Rodney pulled away with a sigh to say, "So, my ex-wife is dead and you need my help in order to get back to your own universe?"

Carter nodded her agreement. "You successfully designed and built a similar bridge between parallel universes in my reality…with a little help from your sister, Jeannie Miller. I've been trying my best to recreate your calculations, but I keep coming up short."

"Jeannie? She and I actually get along in your universe?" Rodney asked, shaking his head in disbelief as he began to rub the underside of his right forearm.

"I don't think so, at least not until they worked together on the project." Carter's wince told a story by itself.

"Oh. Well, you need to understand that I haven't been involved in any theoretical physics in…years." Rodney frowned as he looked around his office decorated with industry awards and ad campaign posters. "I mean, these days I tend to focus on software development and the buying and selling of companies."

Carter stood and reached toward Rodney with a pleading smile. "McKay… _Rodney_ , my team in this reality - it's been broken apart. Jack O'Neill's…dead, Daniel Jackson's been captured by the Ori, Teal'c's exiled off-planet, Cameron Mitchell is missing and Vala Mal Doran's under arrest. There's no chance I'll be able to pull them back together, even with Major Lorne's help."

John realized he must have let something slip in his expression because Carter flinched and pulled her hand back before continuing. "You, on the other hand, still have a chance to make things happen. In my reality, you're a key member of a team of international scientists and explorers based in the Pegasus Galaxy. You go on dangerous adventures and deal with high-level alien technology." There was an extra level of earnestness in her voice, which only served to highlight her insincerity for John. "The Rodney McKay I know wouldn't back down from a challenge. He is one of the most forthright, courageous…and selfless men I have ever met."

After seeing Rodney light up at the implied compliments, John was furious at Carter when Rodney's pleased expression vanished and he blurted, "You're making all that up about me, uh, him, aren't you?"

"Not all of it."

Carter backed up a step at John's growled, "That's enough!" but it didn't stop her.

"Okay, granted he's petty, arrogant, and bad with people, but no one can deny that he and his team have saved a lot of lives under very difficult conditions." She smiled and asked tentatively, "So what do you say, McKay?"

Knowing Rodney's preference for bald-faced truths over pleasant lies, his answer didn't surprise John.

"Okay, I'll help you."

  
**8=8=8**   


_Rodney's eyes narrowed behind his gold-rimmed frames as he frowned, one hand waving in emphasis as he continued. "It gets better. Sam thinks that as 'Special Advisor to the President' I'll be in the position to be - in her words - 'a persistent voice in his ear, nudging him in the right direction,' as if I've ever been someone who's good at winning friends and influencing people. I'm more likely to end up being shot for treason if I push for her agenda of 'improved foreign relations and the restoration of civil liberties that were lost when the President took office!'"_

  
**8=8=8**   


"He wouldn't be much of a President if he wasn't at least willing to listen to other opinions. While I understand how we got to where we are today, I think it's time to reassess the…."

Sam Carter's image disappeared in mid-sentence and the television screen blanked to hissing white for a few seconds before a commercial started playing. John turned his head to ask Rodney, "Did you know she was going to do that?"

Rodney's ignorance of Carter's plans for her nationally televised late night interview was apparent by his sputtered, "She can't say things like that! The people that she just pissed off, they do not mess around!"

"Yeah. I think she just found out the hard way." John used the remote to turn off the television and slid down in the bed after tossing two of his pillows over the side. While he held some admiration for Carter's gutsiness challenging the status quo, John had learned the hard way how difficult that could be. Although no one would believe it by looking at and listening to Rodney, he'd been the one who'd taught John how to work within the system by sharing the lessons he'd learned after being blackballed from academia and research institutions in his chosen fields. "You doing okay?"

Rodney hummed in agreement and rolled into John, settling against him with a sigh. "Yes, don't worry about me…or her. She's a little too high-profile to just disappear." He huffed a laugh against John's chest. "You really need to get past this jealousy thing with Sam. It's been _years_."

"It's hard to forget that she's the reason you got drunk and almost ended up dead in Vegas." Irritated by Rodney's amusement, John poked him in the ribs. "Remember drowning your sorrows in champagne and firing your security on what would have been your anniversary if you'd stayed married for a year?"

"Not the same Sam," Rodney pointed out with infuriating logic. "Besides, the fact that the marriage only lasted three months and we've been together for over two years should tell you something."

"That I'm better in bed?" John laughed and pressed closer as Rodney's hand began to explore, the ghost of Samantha Carter banished to the past where she belonged. John knew what he contributed to their partnership, and it wasn't just fucking. Using the long-neglected business skills he'd learned at his father's behest, John had helped Rodney weather the economic downturn after Landry had declared martial law. He'd earned his place at Rodney's side as an equal partner in the boardroom before they'd added the bedroom, a status they'd made legal in Canada even if the US wouldn't recognize it.

Rodney slid lower and John stopped thinking.

  
**8=8=8**   


" _Will." Focused on that one all-important word, John rose and walked around the desk to stand in front of Rodney, his hands clenching as he struggled not to reach out, feeling torn between anger and despair. "You accepted." Well aware of what that decision would cost them, John gave in and grabbed Rodney's hand before he could start rubbing the scar on his right arm._

 _Rodney nodded before dropping his gaze to their joined hands. "They were very…persuasive. I don't really have a choice, John."_

  
**8=8=8**   


John was puzzled when Carter walked into his office. "Sorry, but Rodney's not here today. He's out at the lab working on your prototype."

"Good, because I need to talk to you first. I'm afraid there's been some…fallout from my interview." Frowning, Carter paced in front of John's desk, her hands twisting in agitation. "With McKay's resources, he's probably the only one outside of the government who can help me get back to my universe. Unfortunately, it's been made clear to me that he also derives a significant portion of his income from defense and government contracts, and is therefore a likely target for an anti-trust investigation." Pausing, she faced John to admit, "After visiting Mitchell, I'm well aware of the price of sticking up for principles in this universe, and I'm not sure that McKay deserves to pay it. On the other hand, it's my duty to return to my universe with Merlin's device as soon as possible - hopefully before the Ori attack again."

"I'm not sure what you're asking, or if you're even asking me anything," John said carefully. "As much as I'd like to order Rodney to drop the damn research, it's his decision."

Carter nodded. "I'm not going to share this with anyone else, but I think it might help if you have all the information I have to work with." She held out a small silver brooch set with green crystals and handed it to John. Light flared from it as he took it and he felt a sudden warmth running through his veins, a whisper at the edge of hearing that hinted at ancient secrets. Shocked by the sensations, he let the brooch drop to his desk, and they all disappeared.

"What the hell?" John blurted, shoving back from his desk to gain a little more distance from the disturbing piece of jewelry.

Reaching out, Carter picked up the brooch and then tucked it into a pocket. "When we met, I told you that I trusted you to keep my secret. That's because I knew yours, or rather, because I knew my John Sheppard. Remember how I told McKay he was on a team? Well, you're the team leader, the military commander of the expedition, a hero. You have the strongest expression of the Ancient gene that we've found. You brought Atlantis to life."

John laughed and slowly shook his head. "Yeah, doesn't sound much like me."

"I have to disagree," Carter pulled the brooch back out and tossed it on the desk. "I don't think there's much difference between you and the John Sheppard in my universe. I've read your file and I think it's amazing how one incident can entirely alter the course of someone's life, yet leave the important basics in place."

Moving his chair back to his desk, John reached out to touch a crystal with the tip of a finger, barely suppressing a flinch at the renewed contact. He looked up at Carter, who smiled at him but didn't say a word. After a few moments, he pulled his hand back and nodded. "I'll think about it."

"That's all I'm asking." Abandoning the brooch on the desk, she turned to leave then stopped with a quizzical smile. "Before I walk out of here...." Her eyes narrowed as she studied John for a few moments. "I don't want to insult you in any way, but you two aren't just _business_ partners, are you?"

John chuckled at her obvious bafflement. "No, we aren't."

"Huh. According to Lorne, your Carter claimed there was there was a side of McKay that no one else saw." She shook her head with a final look of disbelief then walked out the door.

John just smiled because he really didn't have a problem with Carter being blind.

  
**8=8=8**   


_John bit his lower lip as he considered his options, then he made an offer, although he was certain what the answer would be. "I've had an exit strategy in place for us for years, Rodney."_

 _"I…I can't," Rodney shook his head and sighed. "It's not the money or that thousands of people would end up unemployed if they take my company down in an antitrust action or confiscate everything before deporting me as an undesirable. Earth itself is at risk if I don't do this." He looked up, his eyes wide in blue appeal. "It's a good thing you'll be here to make sure everything's taken care of while I'm gone, right?"_

 _Knowing there was little chance they'd let Rodney leave once they had him, John's answer was a hug and a soft kiss to Rodney's temple._

 _It was easier to let him believe that he could leave John behind. For now._

  
**8=8=8**   


With the weird-looking chair reclined and facing away from the lab's door, John ended up hearing Rodney before he could see him. "Lee, what is this I just heard about you performing tests on the Ancient weapons chair? The ZedPM is nearly depleted and reducing its levels even further before I've had a chance to…." As Rodney rounded the corner, he stopped with his mouth half-open before sputtering in surprise, "John? What are you doing here?"

Bill Lee answered because John was too busy laughing at Rodney's expression. "It turns out that Mr. Sheppard has the strongest expression of the Ancient gene that we've seen since Colonel O'Neill. He was just giving us a demonstration of the heads up displays available."

Finally understanding what John had done, Rodney's eyes lit up. "John, think about where we are in the solar system." John did as he asked, and a sparkling three-dimensional model appeared in the air above their heads.

Rodney watched it for a moment before smiling down at John. "That is very impressive." John began to sit up, but Rodney pressed him back with his broad hand and another irresistible demand.

"Now, think about…Atlantis."

  
**8=fin=8**   


**Author's Note:**

> Crossover AU of SGA-5.19 'Vegas' and SG-1-10.13 'Road Not Taken' written for reulann in the 2010 sga_santa exchange.


End file.
